Totally in need of some space, to breathe

Limited time span of love

I am trying my best to pull myself out from this shit which would cause me to fall deeper by day,

knowing very well that it will definitely hurt me in the end, but still holding on.

Realised that some things are beyond our controls, that we human nature could never decide fate.

It had come to a point whereby I could only be living in the moment for now, at least these moments could lessen the pain when she leave.

 

A mundane and nerve-wrecking night,

It's been really really long ever since I've blogged, anyway I'm at my workplace now.

There is not a single soul of customers around, what a deadly silence among here.

Time have been lessen mainly because of work, and relationship partially.

How time flies, I have been working for 8 months ---> highest duration record (-clap and a pat on shoulder for self) 

My job isn't tedious but working every night gradually had my eye rings turning darker.

I look worse than a panda now, and I'm feeling exhausted inside out entirely.

Wondering why am I not studying at my age of 20?!

Regrets, regrets and more regrets..

Feeling remorse about my life entirely, how I had let both my parents feeling utterly disappointed in me.

This morning my dad said, " Why are you always learning those bad things instead of going the right path?"

I turned my head down and kept silent.

So much were going through my head while I was lying down on my bed.

I start to lose faith and everything in myself, seeing myself slowly fading from the surface of people.

Totally lose connections with the world out there, hibernating myself at the same spot every night -> right now where I'm sitting at~

So I fell in love with this girl, but I know it very well that we could never go far.. 

I really have no idea of what I want,  I am a really complicated person I guess.
Battling between my mind of wanting and giving up.

"I just, don't know where to go from here.."